"Let's Go To The Movies"

I love going to the movies. I love that I get to just disappear into someone else's story for two hours. I love everything about the experience. However, last night's movie left me feeling less than warm-hearted.

My office had Monday off to celebrate MLK Jr. Day - an awesome thing! So, we all got back into the office yesterday after a long weekend, and starting recapping our activities. Two friends mentioned they went to see this movie called "Revolutionary Road", and that it was definitely worth seeing. One of them has a very similar story to mine - married in her early twenties, divorced, moved to Boston, found the love of her life. She tells me that I have to see this movie, but for people like us - people who have made the hard decision to leave - it's very emotional. "You have to see it, but you will cry," she says to me.

I immediately message "J" and ask him if he wants to see a movie after work. With extreme excitement, he said he'd love to after reading the movie's description. We began messaging about the feelings of guilt I have been experiencing towards my own past, and I warn him that I might be "a little emotional". We both agreed it would be one of those movies that sparks awesome conversation and insight into the human psyche. Well, we were right about that.

First of all, this movie is amazing. The acting is phenomenal. The story is intense. I highly recommend it as a movie to be seen. However, if you have any fear about relationships, settling, making a bad choice, being stuck in a place you despise - any one or all of those fears - you will have a very rough time watching this film. After a million tears we left the theater in a daze and walked over to grab dinner at my favorite place, Panera. We walk up to the counter to order our meal and can barely speak. We were so wiped out. So exhausted. Emotionally and physically. This movie was not only a depiction of what could happen if you aren't true to yourself, but also of a couple trying so desperately to figure life out in the context in which they were living.

I've lived those fights. I've seen that look of utter sadness. Hopelessness. I think we all have. That's why it was so gut-wrenching. We have all been there. We have all settled - made choices because they made sense. This, my dear friends, is my worst fear. Being somewhere I hate. Miserable with who I have become. Deceiving - and being deceived by - the person you love and trust most in the world.

We walked out and talked about what happened to them, and how to ensure that doesn't become of us. How to make sure you listen to not only the person you're with, by yourself. Staying true to that person. I'm not sure we solved the problem of unhappy couples around the world, but we did promise to always talk. About our feelings. Our fears. Our needs. I don't know that there's any better solution. But I do know that love drives this world, and we'll never be without it. And, I also know that because this tragedy happened to Kate and Leo doesn't mean it's slated for me.

Right now, though, I know I'm exhausted and want to go to bed. So, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to dream of wonderful things and true love. Or Leo naked. Whatever gets me through the night...(I'm totally kidding, by the way)