This year has been filled with ups and downs, but having
this sweet little boy in my life has made it all worth it. I still cannot
believe how lucky I am to be surrounded by the love of my two beautiful boys. On
M’s first birthday, I am amazed I made it, sad it’s gone so quickly, happy he’s
no longer an infant, and still taking it one day at a time – hell, sometimes
one moment at a time.
To my sweet baby boy:
It’s hard to believe I’m sitting here looking back at a year
already. It sounds so cliché to ask where the time has gone, and yet I can’t
help but repeat that phrase over and over in my mind as I desperately search
for a clearer understanding of how it seems like only yesterday you looked into
my eyes for the first time. The past twelve months have been the greatest
lesson in love that I have and will ever receive, as I have watched you grow
and begin to develop into your own unique person.
I find myself constantly amazed by the joy with which you
fill me. For the life of me I cannot believe it was me you chose to be your
mom. I wish I could describe in words the honor that comes along with that
title, but I’m afraid that even I, who is so often verbose and overly
descriptive, would fail to capture that sentiment.
Who you are – even at this young age – is so beautiful. You
have a laugh that is so contagious it stops me in my tracks wherever I am. And
your daddy? He will do anything to hear it, including countless foreign accents
and rhythmless dance moves. I love that he does this without thinking, and that
you indulge him by responding with a big belly giggle. I love your curiosity.
You want to know about everything, touch everything, explore everything and be
a part of everything. From the dishwasher to the sink faucet to a roll of
toilet paper, you look at everything with wonder and awe. Please never lose
that. The world is full of wonderful things to explore and learn – you will
never be done. I love your sense of adventure. That it doesn’t faze you to “fall
back” on the bed or climb up the stairs. With every new thing you try and
learn, you have a genuine excitement and pride that is beautiful to behold. I love
your respect. For me. For daddy. You are an amazing listener. You are incredibly
sweet. My favorite thing to do is pick you up from daycare. Sometimes if we’re
lucky, daddy and I will come together to get you and we try to beat each other
inside, knowing you will hug and snuggle with the first person through the
door. I love your smile. Your beautiful eyes. I love the way you dance,
bouncing and marching in place. I love the way you move your mouth to the
sounds of the music. I love your excitement when you watch TheGiggleBellies,
every time like it’s your first. I love that you wave to everyone you see in an
attempt to get them to wave back (even on a plane when the woman sitting next
to us clearly does not want to indulge you).
One night this past year I came across a blog post that
brought me to tears. It was about love, respect and acceptance no matter who
you are. As I read those words, it became clear to me that if I can do nothing
else for you in this life, as long as I can instill in you a respect for others
and yourself, I have done my job. Please never forget that every person
deserves the same respect you do, and that everyone has the same right to live.
Do not pass judgment on others because they are different – that is what makes
us all special. Kindness will get you farther in life than money, fame or
education. Please lead by example, and never give in to the pressure to be
unkind.
Today is bittersweet for me. I am sad that the past twelve
months have gone by so quickly, and scared the next one will go even quicker. And
yet, I look forward to watching you grow into the person you are becoming, and
experiencing your life with you. I love you so much more than you will ever
know. Thank you for being. You have changed my life in ways I am just starting
to realize.
Happy first birthday, my sweet baby boy.
