It amazes me that being a parent makes people so crazy. Men and women have been having - and raising - babies for thousands of years, and we continue to hold the rather insane view that despite that, we know what's best. I mean, sure, we are the ones that know our child(ren) the best. We have likely been there from the very first moment of conception, their arrival into this world, and are the ones who are at the center of their world. However, I refuse to be naive enough to believe that I am the only one who can care for my child. I for one truly appreciate that my son has the opportunity to spend some of his time at daycare where people discipline differently than me, are not able to give him constant attention, and likely hold different views on the world than me. I personally feel that exposing him to different people and opinions will make him a more well-rounded person.
I don't read baby books. I don't reference dictionaries with lists of thousands of foods to find out at exactly what stage my son can have an apple. Rather, I let him soothe himself back to sleep at night. And observe him to see if he's ready to handle a steamed apple. I believe it's my responsibility to help him become a strong adult who can handle life without someone holding his hand. Will he fall down? Of course. But the sooner he learns that he can fall and get back up, the more confident and independent he will become. Hard falls? I'm there in less than a second. Soft falls? I let him know he's fine and that he can get himself back up.
I recently read an article that had my head spinning about the difference between French and American children: http://on.wsj.com/wpkb7J. I found myself applauding the writer for pointing out some of the things that have been driving me crazy about parenting for years now. I have constantly been amazed that children are allowed to scream and run around in restaurants, disrespect their elders, and decide whether or not they want a haircut. I thought these things were just a given, and that parents were supposed to teach their children manners, and handle the decisions that children are simply too young to make. At nine months, my son is learning the meaning of the word 'no' while I play on the floor with him. And, while he is still learning, I am happy to report that most of the time when I speak with authority, he listens.
While parenting philosophies and principles are very personal - and should be - I do admit I find it hard to handle when children grow up to be poor-mannered adults and the rest of the world is responsible for dealing with them. More and more it seems like young adults are walking into a new job with an air of entitlement, and are completely clueless that coming to work after just having rolled out of bed is a BAD IDEA.
Now that I am a mother, I constantly worry about how to handle situations as my son grows so I can foster his creativity and individuality, while teaching him manners, respect and love. It's a scary thing, being in charge of another human's experience. At the core of it all, maybe that's why parents get so crazy when they talk about parenting issues. Because, deep down, no matter how confident we feel about the decisions we're making, we are all scared shitless that we're going to mess this up. And when something - someone - you love so much is on the line, it's impossible not to get so passionate.
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