Okay. I'm going to start this post out by saying: this type of thing could only happen to me. Seriously. Sometimes, when I'm lying in bed at night, or when a friend makes a comment about the amount of drama (or funny stories) in my life, I like to think that God (or in whatever/whomever you choose to believe) has a sense of humor, and just likes to watch me react to these situations. And, maybe more importantly, likes to see me share these stories. So, here's yet another one for the old "KP Files".
For your enjoyment, it's written like a play, so you truly get the full effect.
Scene I opens: Tuesday morning around 7:45. Kristin's bedroom.
Kristin is frantically trying to figure out what to wear to work. It's going to be warm, slightly rainy. But, she needs to lose a few pounds, so wants something that's not so revealing. A dress. Perfect. The pink one. GREAT! Oh, but she wore this exact dress the day she met Brit boy. "Come on" she says to herself. "People re-wear things each week in the office. I can handle wearing something 4 weeks later! Plus, I don't know if you remember, but Brit boy moved to Kansas City. There's no way you'll run into him wearing this dress." Kristin puts on the dress and walks out the door to get to work.
I am going to interrupt here, and say that I do realize assuming he would even remember a particular outfit I wore is giving him (i.e. a man) a lot of credit. However, it's a bright shade of pink, I wear it with white leggings - it's the sort of outfit he wouldn't be able to describe probably, but would recognize if he saw it again. Play continues.
Scene II opens: Boston, Massachusetts (this is important later), outside Kristin's office.
Kristin enters scene on cell phone with important person (the identity of whom can not be revealed here due to certain professional circumstances). She's walking back and forth. While immersed in conversation, she notices a very handsome, tan man walking towards her, on the other side of the sidewalk. White button-up shirt, khaki pants. The look is very familiar. She gasps. This can't be. I'm wearing the same dress. NOT TODAY...NOT TODAY...she panics. While trying to pay attention to the phone call, she starts to do the look-but-don't-look-like-you're-looking-look. She turns to face the other way, while continuing to walk with a bounce in her step, appearing to all passers-by as a not-bitter-very-happy-my life is going amazing, confident-young woman. He passes, smoking a cigarette. She looks. Gasps again. Starts shaking. It's him! Brit boy! And he's walking towards her office. Kristin, all the while keeping her composure, brought her focus back and finished the important conversation.
End scene.
Again, realize how important to note the location of Scene II. I had to make sure several times that, indeed, I did not unknowingly in my sleep get on a plane and end up in Kansas City. I was, in fact, still in Boston. And, so was he. Does anyone else see where I'm going with this!?!
There are several lessons learned. One - I have a sixth sense that scares the shit out of me. I knew not to wear that dress. I knew it. Two - don't trust a British man who says he's moving to Kansas City and still lives with his ex-girlfriend. No explanation needed. Three - weird, ironic, crazy shit is never going to stop happening to me. So I have to deal with it. And then write about it. Because at the end of the day, if I'm not laughing (although I usually am), someone else is.
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