A new last name

I never had any desire to change my name. My name has been my identity - who I was, how people knew me, what they called me. The thought of being something - someone - else frightened me. I always thought I'd be one of those women who marched to their own drum - a loving mother and wife, but one who just couldn't adopt someone else's identity through the old-fashioned "tradition" of taking a man's name. It's funny how time changes us. 


Friday night, "J" was to pick me up from work on our way to a romantic weekend in Vermont. Those who have been following closely know that our relationship was really written in the stars the last time we took a trip to this state. Needless to say, we were both very much looking forward to our weekend away together. We arrive around 10:00 to a note on the back door of the Inn, with directions to our room (the inn keepers go home at 9:30, so they wouldn't be able to show us). I open the door to a lovely sitting area with 2 chairs, a table, a single cup coffee maker and some books about Vermont. I turn to the left and walk through a small entryway into the bedroom - a four-post bed, 12-foot ceilings, fireplace, balcony. "J" did good. Not overlooked is a vase full of gerber daisies and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. Apparently there were a lot of people working behind the scenes to make this a wonderful weekend. We turn the fireplace on, pour some wine and settle in for a cozy evening.

He pulls out his guitar and starts playing some chords. Nothing unusual, as he often does this around the house (one of the MANY things I love about living with him). I am aware that there may be a marriage proposal in my future, but am confident it will not be tonight - we had just arrived, and I was sure there would be something up his sleeve for Saturday night. It just seemed like a better night to propose.

KP takes some pillows off the bed, puts them on the floor next to "J" and lays down. She is looking up at him, lovingly.

"J" looks down at her, smiles and says: "would you like to hear a song I've been working on?"

"Of course," I said. "I would love to." All the while, expecting him to play a few lines and stop, because the song wasn't finished.

A melody - clearly learned - comes from the guitar. Lyrics begin.

"Five minutes gone, and I already love her. Five minutes gone and my whole world has changed. She's the one, the one I want to have babies with tomorrow. Have a big family, the old fashioned way. Baby, if I asked you, with only myself to give...baby would you have me? I'll give you everything you need. Will you marry me?"

My reaction? Shock. Disbelief. That this was really some Matt Nathanson tune that I hadn't heard and he was just playing some cruel joke on me to see how long I would play along. The song continued, and he asked me about 5 more times to be his wife. When the song was over, I realized what this meant. I am pretty sure I said "YES"!

We laughed and cried as we both realized what had just happened. In those simple words - in that exchange - we just made a promise to each other that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Raising a family. In 5 minutes, both our lives changed. In the best way possible. He is going to be my husband.

Gerber daisies, chocolate covered strawberries and my own personal song (hey - I don't "require" these things...but they are DEFINITELY a bonus!), and I am suddently ecstatic about the idea of taking his name. I am proud that I will be able to share the name of one of the most beautiful people - and families - I have ever met. I look forward to the moment I change my name to his - in one move creating a new family with its own traditions, beliefs and legacies. I am looking forward to the first time he introduces me as his wife, and he as my husband. I love the sound of those words, and look forward to the many years we will be able to use them. There is no one on this planet I would rather share my life with, of this I am certain.

As we take this next step together, I look back upon all the years my name has given me a certain identity with pride and nostalgia, and look forward to the many years ahead with my new identity. No regrets from the past, and only hope for the future.

I have a feeling I am about to embark on a beautiful journey with my (soon to be) new last name. WOO-HOO!